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Whether you’re expecting your first baby, or you’ve been a momma several times over, the post-partem phase is challenging. If you’ve read my other posts about post-partem, Five Insights into living with Post-Partem Depression: Helping Partners and Loved Ones Understand or Post-Partum Depression and the American Mom you know that I have had three children and that I experienced post-partem depression (PPD) after each of them. Even without PPD in the picture, there is no denying that the first few weeks and months with a new baby are hard. While there is nothing that can truly prepare you for the fatigue that comes with being up all night with a newborn or the healing that your body needs to go through, I think that it is still possible to set up our environments to promote physical healing and ease our mental loads. Sometimes, a simple switch or an idea about how to set up an environment can make a huge impact.
First, let’s acknowledge that birthing a baby, whether it’s a vaginal or cesarian delivery, whether it was a natural or medicated birth, is a massive trauma to a woman’s body. In the case of any physical trauma, our bodies need rest, adequate nutrition with an emphasis on protein, and hydration. If you’re like me, none of those things will happen when you bring home your baby. In my first post-partem phase, I was too shell shocked from having to figure out how to be a mom to a baby with severe acid reflux to think much about my own needs. I ate when I remembered to and whatever I could easily access. In my subsequent two post-partem phases, I had other children to take care of! It’s like you finally climb out of a deep well only to be hit by a truck at the surface. So, how can we structure our home environments to promote mom’s physical healing and reduce mental stress? I’m going to share a few things that I learned along the way that made a big impact in my daily, postpartem, life.
1. Get mom a water bottle or two, or several. Partners, your job is to make sure they’re always full and that they’re located in places that are easy for mom to access. If mom spends most of her day between the living room and the nursery, put one in each location. Mom needs to hydrate, especially if she’s breastfeeding. I know that you probably have a Stanley collection sitting in your cupboards, so fill them up and set them out!
2. Stock up on protein rich snacks and foods. Whether you’re a protein lover or not, protein is an essential ingredient to promoting healing of the body, so find a few items that you like. In addition to buying the food, partners can also work on portioning it out for mom to make access to it as easy as possible. For example, if you’re buying a large container of Greek yogurt or cottage cheese, portion it out into smaller containers so mom can grab one on the fly. I personally loved protein bars (this one was and still is one of my favorites https://sovrn.co/t3uz7zs), jerky, and peanut butter. Even a pre-made PP&J sitting in the fridge is better than nothing. If it’s within your financial ability, you might want to consider getting a meal delivery service for a while. This way, you have fresh food available without extensive grocery shopping. In a similar line of thinking, take advantage of curbside pick-ups at grocery stores. Select your items online and then just pick them up. No need to drag a newborn and/or your other kids through the stress of grocery shopping.
3. Mom needs time to rest, so partners schedule a time to take the baby every day. Even if it’s just an hour of time where mom can snag a shower and make herself feel like a real human being for a minute, it can go a long way in bolstering mom’s mood. Maybe during weekends, you can take the baby for a longer period of time so that mom can nap. The important thing is that mom is given some time to tend to herself.
4. Another thing that I loved doing in my post-partem periods was taking a sitz bath (https://sovrn.co/1q76vak). They used to give these to you at the hospital, but by the time I had my third baby, they were no longer standard issue. Not only do these feel soothing to parts that are still healing, but they help increase blood flow to those areas, which can speed up healing. Throughout the day, though, having access to ice packs (reusable: https://sovrn.co/18x19x3, disposable: https://sovrn.co/1lj6jl5) and numbing spray (https://sovrn.co/u2wzh1k) really help with decreasing pain and discomfort.
A side note on ice packs for moms who will be new to this: there are generally two kinds of ice packs that you can use. There are instant cold packs that have an absorbent top. These can be placed directly into your underwear and serve the dual purpose of a pad and an ice pack. If you’d rather be more environmentally friendly and use a reusable ice pack, I love the TheraIce one linked above. The knee sleeve is the perfect size and shape for the perineal area and this brand of ice pack stays nice and cold for a long time. Obviously, these would be placed on the outside of your clothing, so having an ice pack that gets nice and cold will be essential so that you can feel it through your clothing.
5. Speaking of clothing, you are going to want to keep your outfits soft and comfortable. You don’t need to dress to impress, dress for comfort and functionality. For women who don’t know yet—you will bleed after giving birth and you will not be able to wear tampons. If you’re me, you’ll bleed for 4 weeks of peri healing only to have that followed up by your period. While that’s just a fun time all around, leak proof or period underwear make it much more bearable. These are my absolute favorites (https://sovrn.co/42gtzxg). I don’t know what magic they put into making these things, but it’s amazing!
Another item that was a total game changer was a pumping bra. Don’t skimp on this purchase as not all pumping bras are created equal. None of my children were able to latch properly, so I pumped all of my milk, for each of my kids, for six months. Now, most mommas won’t have that dramatic of a situation or be crazy enough to commit to that. However, once you return to work, or if you need to leave milk behind for the baby any other time, you’ll appreciate being able to have your hands free during your pumping session (https://sovrn.co/1eki9h9).
6. Set up your space in a way that’s convenient and where things you use/need regularly are accessible. One great idea is to get a comfort cart and put it by the chair that you use most to rock the baby. That way, when the baby falls asleep and your nap trapped, you have snacks, drinks, and other necessities within reach. If you’re looking for a good cart and what to put in it, I found the information on this site really helpful: https://redstickmom.com/what-is-a-nursing-cart-and-why-every-new-mom-needs-one/
Also, make your home set-up as one level as possible. For example, when I had my first two kids, we lived in a townhouse. There was no way that I was going up and down 2 flights of stairs in the middle of the night to heat up a bottle or store breastmilk. Instead, I kept the bottle warmer and coolers filled with ice packs in the bathroom next to the baby’s room. Looking back, a mini fridge would have been even easier, but we live and we learn! Not only was it easier on my post-partem body, but I didn’t have to worry about falling down stairs in the middle of the night.
Bringing home a new baby is a really special time for the entire family, but there is no doubting that it’s also stressful. Taking a look at how to set up your space and how to prepare your cabinets/fridge for the baby’s arrival can really help in reducing stress once you’re home from the hospital. One item that should be included here, but can’t be purchased, is patience. Be patient with yourself and be patient with each other. After a few days, you’ll have a better idea of your new flow and you can restructure your set up accordingly. The most important thing is that you reduce environmental stress so that you can focus your energy on loving that new baby. I wish you all of the best! ~Lorie